Thankfulness Takes Practice
It has been years since I traced my hand on a piece of construction paper, drew a turkey’s face on the thumb, and then labelled each feather-finger with something for which I am thankful. For most of us, that exercise of manufactured gratitude lost its appeal by the time we were in the third grade. I wonder, however, whether we might benefit from bringing it back—not the childhood art project but the prescribed practice of listing things for which we are thankful.
Finding reasons to be thankful on Thanksgiving Day is relatively easy. We may need to dig beneath layers of grief, disappointment, and frustration to find them, but, if pressed, each of us could identify at least four things for which we are grateful—our lives, our neighbors, our country, our freedoms, our heritage, our world. The more difficult and important challenge is developing a spirit of gratitude that we carry with us into the ordinary and often trying days that extend beyond the holiday.
Retaining a spirit of gratefulness in moments of stress and hardship takes practice, but it is well worth it. Have you ever met someone who has the strange and wonderful gift of expressing gratitude in moments when it seems like gratitude is the last thing they should be feeling? My heart has melted a time or two when I have been with someone whose struggles have exceeded anything I have experienced yet whose thankfulness for life’s blessings consistently overshadows their pain. For them, gratitude is a spiritual discipline, and their faithfulness inspires me to seek the same in my life.
I want to be grateful. I want to know gratitude that has the power not only to withstand the assaults of hardship but even to overcome them. I want to carry that spirit with me into the relationships that matter to me as an invitation to others to experience the liberating power of gratitude. I want thanksgiving to take over every aspect of my life. But that takes more than intention; it requires hard work.
All of us know that merely setting aside one day each year for thanksgiving is not enough, but how many of us have found ways that go beyond that? How many of us practice gratitude on a daily basis? How many of us know how?
One of my favorite prayers in the prayer book is the General Thanksgiving, which comes at the end of Morning and Evening Prayer. One reason I like it so much is that I learned it years ago, when the church I attended said it most Sunday mornings during worship. Another reason is that we are invited to say it every day, morning and evening, whether we mean it or not.
Except for God’s “inestimable love” given to us “in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ,” the words of the General Thanksgiving do not name any specific thanksgivings—just a general, grateful acknowledgment of our “creation, preservation, and all the blessings of this life.” Yet, in those expansive words, there is room for a litany of thanksgivings, and the habitual recitation of that prayer is one way to draw that litany forth from our hearts and minds.
The Daily Office is one way to practice thanksgiving, but there are plenty more. This week, at a vestry meeting, Kristin Payne offered a reflection on the importance of daily gratitude. She gave each of us a journal that divides the year up into days and weeks, leaving a little bubble for us to write in something for which we are grateful each day. Although a simple device, the framework provides an invitation for a brief expression of gratitude as a daily practice, and the members of the vestry showed genuine enthusiasm for the opportunity. I think that most of us can anticipate the value of gratitude as a spiritual practice, but we need help knowing where to start.
Maybe Thanksgiving Day offers us a way to begin. Taking a moment at the dinner table to say aloud one thing for which we are grateful does not feel out of place because of the holiday. Might we try that again on Friday night? If your child or grandchild has brought home from school a craft project that is designed to help them develop a spirit of gratitude, ask them about it, and then offer to make one of your own along with them. Put an empty journal and a pencil beside your bed, and, when you are ready to turn out the light, take a minute to write down a single word of thanksgiving, trusting that even a single word can lead to a spiritual practice.
However you do it, practice thanksgiving. And do not expect to be especially good at it right from the start. At first, it might feel as forced as a kindergarten art project. You may struggle to remember to write in your journal or to say your prayers, but do not give up. Start again. And again. In time, being thankful will come as naturally as breathing. You were made to be grateful in all things. That capacity lies within you, but, as with anything worthwhile, it requires practice.
Yours faithfully,
Evan D. Garner
